Category: Personal

Reminded by a recent comment, I went and looked at my financial records in Quicken, and the last time I updated it was about three months ago…

I seem to go through a pattern when it comes to Quicken. I realize that I really should keep better track of my spending, so I start up a new Quicken database and enter my latest balances and updates. Then, for a while I’ll meticulously keep track of all of my bank account and credit card transactions at the end of the day. Then I realize that I’m not really learning much about how I spend my money, since a lot of it is in cash transactions, so I set up a ‘cash’ account and start keeping track of every little cash payment, too. Then I get busy or distracted, so I just leave the receipts near the computer and enter the updates whenever I have free time, using the monthly statements to fill in any holes I may have forgotten about. And then I suddenly realize that I haven’t updated it in three months and it’s just way too behind now…

Then, a couple years later, I start the whole process over again, swearing that I’ll do a better job this time.

Oh well, maybe in 2006…

Apparently my recent trip to visit friends and family didn’t do my waistline any favours… :-P

Ugh, I really need to make a to-do list. Not that any of you would care, but I have to keep reminding myself…

1. Get a haircut.

   Sorry J, but long hair is more of a nuisance than anything else. I really should get it done more often (last time was around Christmas), but I hate getting my hair cut. I hate my awkward attempts to make small talk. I hate trying to answer ‘how do you want it?’ when I have no real clue or preference. I hate being touched that way.

2. Get an eye exam and new frames.

   It’s been a long time since my last exam and although my vision hasn’t deteriorated much, if any, it wouldn’t hurt to get the prescription up-to-date. And it’s way past time to ditch the aviator frames. I may be an uber-geek, but there’s no need to broadcast it so blatantly. :-P They’re getting fairly warped and beat-up anyway.

3. Get new shoes

   It’s probably a bad thing when there’s a hole worn almost all the way through the sole… I really should put more effort into finding a *good* pair of shoes though, that won’t completely fall apart within a year. I’ve traditionally gone with Reebok walking shoes, but the construction didn’t seem all that great on this last pair, and I’ve heard good things about the Rockport ‘World Tour’ shoes.

4. Take the Class 7 permit exam

   A Class 5 may be a ways off yet, but I should at least get the Class 7 redone just to start the timer on the probationary period, if nothing else. Now I just need to find the time to study and take it…

5. Clean up and organize around the apartment a bit more

   Miraculously enough I’ve managed to keep the place reasonably decent, but there are still a few things to take care of. In particular are bunches of things like CDs, manuals, DVDs, etc. that get shuffled around from spot to spot a lot, often winding up just sitting on the floor by the desk. I need to clear out some more closet space for the manuals and get some racks for the discs, at least.

6. Buy some new jeans.

   It’s almost comical just how poorly my current pairs of jeans fit me. I could probably shelter homeless people in them. It’s hard enough just holding them in place long enough to get the belt looped.

7. Restart the diet

   Hovering around a point is perfectly fine, but finishing off that last 15-20 lbs first would be even better.

8. Shoot myself in the head.

   For not already taking care of this stuff regularly at my age…

Too many are the days where I head to the office, grind away, wander home, collapse in bed, and wake up the next morning feeling no better off than the previous day. Sure, some work got done, the bank balance is a bit bigger, but did I reallly improve any? Did I learn anything at all? Maybe I did, but it didn’t ‘stick,’ or was too trivial, and got lost along the way.

So, as a test, the new plan is to post here each day at least one new thing that I learned that day. Anything, work or personal, theory or practical, technique or tip, as long as it’s something I didn’t know before. It may be too technical, personal, or irrelevant to hold your interest, but who cares — this is for my benefit, not yours. :-P

Today’s (very boring) lesson is:
Continue reading “old_dog->learn((ptr = new Trick));”

Ugh, I’d almost forgotten just how much it sucks to get a cold. It must have been a while since my last one — although I found some DayQuil and NyQuil in the cupboards, they expired over two *years* ago…

Here’s to hoping a new batch of the big Q will help tonight… “Merry Fucking Christmas!”

Taking care of the day-to-day minutae you can sometimes lose track of the bigger things you should be taking care of. I need to:

1) Clean up the apartment. Not just for tidiness and cleanliness, but to get rid of all the old crap that I no longer need and just takes up space now. I took one stab at this earlier and got rid of a lot of stuff, but there’s plenty more lurking in the closets and desk drawers still.

2) Get a vehicle. I haven’t needed one recently and still really don’t, but the mobility will make the other steps easier. Something used, so I don’t care if I ding it up a bit in my inexperience, but not so old that it’ll have maintenance problems. Preferably a four-door sedan for enough room and comfort for friends.

3) Get a house. Now that I have a bit saved up, there’s not much sense in continuing to dump rent into somebody else’s pocket. I don’t need something huge and wouldn’t be able to take care of it anyway; something with a small yard and three bedrooms (mine, guest, and office), or two bedrooms and a basement would be sufficient. I can probably pay it off in 10 to 15 years and be well-prepared for retirement down the road.

4) Unleash my robotic shock troops and corner the world energy markets. Hey, they’re getting bored.

Today I went to buy some books at the Chapters location in Chinook, and I finally gave in and got one of their ‘club’ cards. As a rule I generally don’t join these clubs, for a variety of reasons. I hate the false sense of familiarity they try to foster when the cashier is required to refer to you by name; I don’t like attempts to manipulate my buying habits through their data-mined profiles; and I like to exercise the freedom not to participate. It is a choice, after all, so why be surprised that not everyone chooses the same way?

So why did I cave in to Chapters then? Because programming books are freaking expensive. Ten cents off a bottle of water is one thing; $15 off of a $70 design patterns book is another. Sometimes pragmatism trumps ideology…

A little late, but oh well…

I took a couple weeks off in December and spent some time in Edmonton visiting family and friends. It was good to see everyone again of course; I have to take an occasional break from going nuts by myself down here in Cowtown. :-) I ate, and read books, and ate, and watched TV specials, and ate, and watched movies, and ate, and chatted, and ate, and visited my grandfather, and ate… Maybe I was premature in buying a smaller belt.

It seems like Edmonton changes more and more drastically every time I visit, too. This time, as I passed by Old Scona, I noticed huge differences. One whole section of buildings had been demolished, new construction was underway in spots, and numerous old shops were gone and replaced by rather low-budget operations. Calgary Trail keeps stretching further and further south. The malls downtown have almost been entirely overhauled. There’s been more activity in the last few years than in most of my youth spent there.

I am also an idiot. After carefully packing up everything I needed for the trip, I rushed out at the last second and forgot a whole pack of items sitting on the kitchen table, including my CDs and Discman, Gameboy, batteries, adapters and chargers, and other miscellaneous accessories.

“Aw, isn’t that sweet,” you might say. “His separation from modern technology taught him the value of basic, plain living and how we shouldn’t rely on blah blah blah…” Screw that. I don’t depend on most of these gadgets; they were bought specifically *for* travelling, and if they get left behind then they were a waste. I did take books with me; if I had left them behind instead would I have been expected to have learned how to get by without books and just enjoy simple electronic pleasures instead? :-P

Anyway, back to the grind…

Well, that’s one more milestone passed. As of this morning, at 220.2 pounds, my BMI is no longer classified as ‘obese’ but is now a mere ‘overweight.’ Slap a business suit on me and I’d blend in perfectly with the lunchtime crowds wandering about downtown…

It’s kind of strange to admit this, but I, a 30 year old person who’s lived in urban areas most of his life now, have never driven a car. I don’t even have a proper license, just a Class 7 (i.e., learner’s permit) that’s been expired for five years now.

I suppose I’ve been lucky enough to have never really needed one. Buses got me to all the important spots, I didn’t really travel a lot or have to go far to hang out with friends, etc. Heck, where I live right now, I’m within walking distance of my office, a supermarket, the whole downtown core, an LRT station, lots of smaller stores… There have only been a few occasions where having a car would have been really helpful, such as carrying larger packages, travelling to less-popular parts of the city, and such, and even then there were alternatives available.

There are other factors at work to a certain degree as well. A bit of fear, since it can be a risky business after all. A bit of doubt, as without access to a vehicle I’m not even sure how to even develop driving skills before fully committing myself. And certainly a bit of laziness.

Still, it would be nice to have a bit more flexibility. If I ever get a house, I don’t want to be severely restricted in where I can be located. It’s unfair to drop all the transportation arrangements on friends all the time. Relying on my passport for id is a pain, I’ll have to get the license renewed eventually in order to renew the passport, so I may as well go all the way anyway.

Now where do I start? :-P

While I was out walking tonight, I caught myself doing something I’d worried about before. I was mulling some idea around in my head, and while I was thinking about it, I realized that I was thinking as though I was explaining the idea to some imaginary audience in my head.

“Is this normal?”, I started wondering. Am I subconsciously trying to counter loneliness by making up conversations with myself? Is this the first step towards hearing voices in my head?

Well of course not, one side of my head says. The fact that I can identify that behaviour, separate it, and talk about it rationally implies that it’s not some ingrained ‘craziness’. Maybe it’s just a deliberate eccentricity as a form of mental analysis.

Then the other side of my head reminded me that I was carrying out all this rationalization as if I were discussing it with some imaginary audience in my head…

When I think back, it’s interesting to note just how much luck has played a part of my life. Things could have been quite different…

I grew up in tiny mining towns, where there wasn’t really much to do but play outside and in the woods. By chance I happened upon a discarded smashed TV set and was curious about just what all these bits inside were. Luckily enough there was an electronics magazine available at the store, and although at 8 years old I didn’t understand 99% of it, there was still an aura of ‘coolness’ to it. It was through this magazine that I learned about these newfangled ‘computer’ thingies…

It wouldn’t have mattered much if we’d remained trapped in these little mining towns; there wouldn’t have been much of a choice in future careers besides continuing on in the same types of construction and mining jobs. As luck would have it though, the mines were running dry and jobs were harder to come by at that time, so once the town shut down we were forced to look elsewhere. We wound up staying with relatives all the way over in the big city, Edmonton, with all its greater opportunities.

In high school I barely knew anyone, and was kind of adrift socially. I thought a club might be interesting, but wasn’t sure which one was really appropriate. I took a chance on the Games Club, since I liked games of various kinds, and if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met most of the people I now know best.

As high school was wrapping up, it was clear what I wanted to do: head to University and get a computer-related degree. It wasn’t clear just how I was going to do so, though. I had absolutely no money and the family wasn’t exactly loaded with cash either, so a student loan looked like the only option, and even that was questionable. One day though, my chemistry teacher mentioned a scholarship that she thought some of us might be interested in. I’d never heard of it before, but I applied and, miraculously enough, won one. The scholarship alone almost entirely covered tuition fees for all four years. I was able to get the degree without having to get a loan, and entered the workforce completely debt-free.

Any minor change in any of these events, just one small decision made differently, and my life could have turned out completely different. Thankfully I’m not stuck back in the mines of B.C. hauling rocks around all day…

Damn I must be getting old. My alarm almost never goes off by itself anymore — I’m usually lying there awake already. Although it’s nowhere near Paul’s insomnia, my body just doesn’t want to rest as much as it did before. Heck, I used to have to worry about sleeping past noon on weekends; now I can’t even force myself to sleep in any later than 9am.

I’d better hurry up and get that house so I can start complaining about kids on my lawn…

As part of the process of cleaning up my life, it’s about time I did something about my weight.

It’s partly vanity of course, as I don’t exactly have women throwing themselves at me all day long. It’s partly over health concerns, as I’d rather not get diabetes or keel over from a heart attack anytime soon. And it’s partly practical, as I’m tired of jeans lasting less than a year, getting winded just going up a hill, damaging furniture, etc.

So, I’m trying to eat better. I found a nutrition program for Linux and with it I can cross-reference the food’s Omega-6/3 balance ratio against the distribution of fat types as a subset of the breakdown of calories versus the source type among protein and fiber and oh screw this… I’m a lazy, lazy man, which is what got me here in the first place.

For now I’m just going to try to limit intake to around 1200 calories a day, a number often bandied about in diet circles, and see where that takes me. I don’t want to give up too many of the foods I already enjoy now since that will just make it harder to stick with this, so the plan is to have one meal of the day act as a counterbalance against the other. For example, I intend to have my usual teriyaki chicken and chocolate milk for lunch today. I don’t have exact stats on it, but it’s probably around the same as a similar meal available at Edo Japan, so I’ll just round it up to around 600 calories. The chocolate milk will probably be another 160, and I had a cereal bar for 140 earlier, for a total of 900 so far. Thus, to counterbalance this, I’ll choose something for dinner that’s around 300. Tomorrow I might want something fairly belt-busting from BP’s for dinner, so I’d have a light lunch to compensate. My problem before was that I’d all too often have both in the same day…

I don’t put much stock in exercise, as it seems easier to just cut the extraneous calories out of my intake to begin with than spending two hours every day burning them off, but I do already walk at least 3km a day getting to and from work, to keep the muscles going and stave off atrophy.

And, since public humiliation might work as a motivator, I’ll try and keep an ongoing update of my status in the right hand section as soon as I pick up a scale.

If I ever move to another apartment, I’m going to have to make sure it’s on at least the third floor. Having to lock up all of the windows most of the day and night makes it way too hot and stuffy in here during the summers. On a couple of occasions the landlord had reported people suspiciously snooping around my windows, too.

Oddly enough, I’m still hoping for a house one day, which would have these problems even worse…

I need to reorganize.

Specifically, reorganize my living space. You see, I may as well just come right out and admit it — I’m a packrat. I hate to throw anything out just in case I might want it later, so over the years I’ve amassed a fair amount of old junk. I’ve got handouts from high school, class notes from university, exams, completed projects, and even scraps of paper with scribbles on them. I found my 1992 tax return. I’ve got mail piled up on top of the fridge. I’ve got parts for my old Atari 8-bit which hasn’t worked for 10 years, manuals for every game I’ve ever bought, bits of electronics scavenged from old equipment, and enough 5.25″ floppies to tile the walls. Do they even make them anymore?

Eventually though, all this stuff starts to take up a fair bit of space. It never really bothered me before. If I’ve got the space, why not, for all I know I really *will* need something in there one day. In the back of my mind though, I knew it still wasn’t ‘normal.’ The landlord and previous building manager had expressed concern, my mother wondered what I was eventually going to do with them, and I was hesitant to let people even see my apartment lest they think it too weird or creepy. There are enough other reasons for them to think that without giving them more. :-P

So, it *has* begun to bother me, more and more. Maybe I’m just caving in to peer pressure, but I worry that my collected stuff is some symptom of emotional immaturity, or that I’m stuck in the past, or they really are just a nuisance that drives people away, or…well, a lot of things. I sat down and looked through a few of the older papers, and when I found one that got rather mediocre marks, I got angry. Genuinely angry, even more so than when I first got it back since at the time I was just happy it was over and done with. Angry first at the unknown marker who dared to disparage my work so casually, and then at myself, for not having been good enough to have done better in the first place.

But it’s irrelevant. This is all old stuff that nobody cares about on topics I’ll never discuss again from people I barely knew. There’s no reason to get worked up over it, but as long as it’s here I will. So, out it goes, and hopefully I’ll be better off for it.

I have the same problem at the office too, and that’s sort of what prompted this in the first place. I’m moving to a different office and even though it’s just around the corner, I was amazed by just how much crap I’d collected in such a small space. Of course there I’m dealing with trade secrets and internal documentation and such so I’d better be a bit more careful about what I throw away…

Supposedly we all have dreams every night but, like a lot of people, I rarely remember them. Either I’m only left with a vague impression that quickly vanishes upon waking, or I just don’t recall anything at all. My head hits the pillow and the only thing that happens next is the alarm going off.

The few I do occasionally remember though, have been, well, boring. Last night, for example, I dreamed about moving the contents of my office to a different office (and in fact we do have an office move coming up). There wasn’t even some strange twist to it; I was just packing up the few remaining books and cables and such left over in the old office.

What a ripoff! Where are the aliens, the talking furniture, the nubile young women, the non-sequiturs, the historical figures, the odd locales, and all the other weirdness I should be getting? I demand more bizarreness from my subconscious, dammit!

Psychologists would probably claim it’s just a reflection of how boring my real life is, in which case…well, I can’t exactly dispute that… :-)