Category: Funny

A Faceful of Mazda

I was at one of the local malls yesterday, and on the way to the washrooms by the food court I noticed a little video screen just outside the entrance. It was showing advertising, of course, and I guess it makes sense to locate them there since it’s such a high-traffic area.

What I *wasn’t* expecting was the whole row of smaller LCD screens located just above the urinals… Advertising there isn’t all that new either, but the mechanics of this method work out just slightly differently. There’s a certain amount of electronics, framing, and mounting needed to put that LCD screen there, of course, and the end result is that the screen sticks out far enough that it winds up being about two inches away from your face.

At least none of the ads were of scantily-clad women…

As The Spam Turns, Episode IV

Subject: no need to lie on your application, we can sell you a verifiable universitty digree

I’m betting that it’s not a degree in English.

Subject: you can't get the position without a digree

And you obviously got yours from the first guy…

Subject: As seen on FOX News! Canadian Pharmacy Drugs %RND_ALT mayhem

Yes, it’s an unfortunate side effect that Canadian drugs have a tendency to spontaneously write violent, buggy e-mail scripts.

Subject: online HIV test: check it out

I’m not sure I want to know how an online test would collect the samples…

Subject: Now you can have her constipate kale

The danger of using randomly selected keywords is that the generated result might be even less appealing than what you’re flogging in the first place…

Nobody Would Ever Guess That

One of the most highly anticipated games expected to be released soon is Half-Life 2, and the recent announcement that people could start downloading parts of it ahead of time only increased the frenzy. Then when Gabe Newell, head of the company, announced on a message board that it was ‘going gold’ (i.e., ready for mass manufacture) on Monday, everyone went nuts. Nearly every single forum I checked that day had at least one message like “OMG OMG HALF-LIFE 2 GOLD MONDAY!!!!!1!!1”

Except it wasn’t true. Turns out that Gabe had his message board account compromised and it was some prankster responsible for the message. And the L33T hacker tactic which allowed this security lapse to happen? He guessed the password: ‘gaben’

No wonder they had their source-code stolen…

The Spam Files III

Subject: Don't forget your superman pill!

Forget that, where can I get myself some Batman pills?

Subject: Adult Shop - Movie Section!!! strickland

Do they also sell propane and propane accessories?

Subject: STOP PAYING FOR YOUR Pay_Per_View_Movies IX:z8gon26923

But if I didn’t pay for them, then they wouldn’t be pay-per-view…

Subject: sheee miiiight saaaaaay it's too haaaard

Aaaaand iiiiit miiiight giiiiive heeeer aaaa speeeeech impeeeedimeeeent tooooo.

Subject: what if you had.. battalion maggot

Is that a new Warhammer 40K figurine?

Subject: Loving yourself is the begenning of loving life!

Hey, it’s none of your business how I ‘love myself’…