While I was out walking tonight, I caught myself doing something I’d worried about before. I was mulling some idea around in my head, and while I was thinking about it, I realized that I was thinking as though I was explaining the idea to some imaginary audience in my head.
“Is this normal?”, I started wondering. Am I subconsciously trying to counter loneliness by making up conversations with myself? Is this the first step towards hearing voices in my head?
Well of course not, one side of my head says. The fact that I can identify that behaviour, separate it, and talk about it rationally implies that it’s not some ingrained ‘craziness’. Maybe it’s just a deliberate eccentricity as a form of mental analysis.
Then the other side of my head reminded me that I was carrying out all this rationalization as if I were discussing it with some imaginary audience in my head…
I wouldn’t worry about it. I do that too, sometimes. In fact, the other day, I’ll even say stuff in my car on the way to work, just to see how it sounds outloud. I think we think differently sometimes, depending on the type of reaction you’re expecting. Or maybe I’m the nutjob… :-)